Kokoro
by Pugnacious Peace
Summary: Yes, this is about Hisoka. XP Of course. Please read and review, and.. Umm.... You'll have to read it to find out what it's about... Please..?
1. Birth

_**Thanks to Saruvi, I finally know which Idea to use. i had three seperate ones. you do not get to know what the other two are until I actually do them. :D**_

_The blond haired boy walked around the university, putting a stick of gum into his mouth. His toungue darted out only for a few seconds to taste the sugary crystals before letting his mouth claim the stick of gum. He walked on down the side walk, his hips moving side to side, unaware of the eyes watching him with lust. _

_Inside his dorm room, he sighed as he realized his roommate had gone out to yet another party. He flopped on his bed, pulling out a book and reading slowly to absorb all of the information. _

_A knock at the door sounded, and the boy got up slowly. _

_Opening it, he seen a silver haired teacher wearing glasses. "Ahh, Katio-Kun. May I come in?"_

_"D...Doctor Muraki... Yes, please." He moved out of the way and let his teacher in, smiling and shutting the door behind him. "What's up?"_

_"You know exactly, what's up, Kaito... I've seen your stares from across the room."_

_"What..What stares..?" He stopped when Muraki's lips touched his neck. Moaning, he arched upwards slowly. Then, as if suddenly snapping back to reality from a distant world, he opened his eyes and pushed away. "Muraki, I.. This is wrong, without a doubt. I'm your student, I-"_

_"I feel the same way about you as you do, Kaito... Please. Do not hide from me."_

_"Muraki...?" He had _no_ idea what the man was talking about. He never stared at the man. Not with romantic interests or lust or anything... It's just how he processed information. Looking nervous, he stepped further away, only to hit a wall._

_"Doctor..." Hands travelled down his chest and stomach, soon dissapearing into his jeans. He gasped and nearly fell at the sensation, but he stood his ground, not willing to lose this. Not now. "Doctor, please!" He shouted, pulling to the side and toward the door. _

_"Kaito... I can give you what you want... everything you want.. just say the word..."_

_"Go away, Doctor! Please, I'm trying to study for a test!"_

_Muraki's gaze changed. Kaito felt fear deep in his heart as the man in front of him reached into his back pocket and pulled out a blade. "Oh, god no!" Kaito screamed, opening the door and running. He ran as fast as he could go, not daring to look back._

_When he arrived outside, he slowed, looking around. His heart was pounding, his eyes were beginning to fog up as panic swept over him. '_I have to get out of here... I have to get off campus...!'_ he thought, rushing to his car. But Muraki was already there, smirking and twirling the blade handle in his fingers. Screaming, Kaito moved away, running through the grounds. _

_"Someone, help me!" He cried, tripping and almost falling to the ground a few times, but regaining his balance at the last second.He ran to a girl's dorm blindly, breaking through the door. "Help!" He cried, but a hand reached in and grabbed him as he made a desperate lunge for the steps. He was pulled back, and before he could scream, a knife was pressed through his back. Touching his stomach, where blood was beginning to stain his clothes, he coughed. A splatter of blood landed on the floor, and as he was dragged out of the dorm, he reached out and weakly attempted to stop himself from going outside by grabbing at the walls, leaving finger trails of blood. _

_Girls raced downstairs, but instead of seing Kaito being dragged away, they only seen the blood on the walls and floor. Immeadiatly, they called the police. _

_In the park, under a beautiful sakura tree, the boy was taken. His innocence was lost, and so was his life. _

_The next morning, when police arrived at the sakura tree, only blood and semen were found on the grass and against the bark. _

_Kaito was gone. And so was Muraki._

_**Fourteen years later**_

As a man leaned over a keypad, he typed in several numbers. A door on the other end of the hall opened, and he walked through, a young man with dark black hair walking with him.

"Muraki-Sama...?"

"Yes, Hijiri?"

"Is..Is the clone finished?"

"We will see."

Muraki looked at a naked boy in a bathtub filled with a special liquid. The clouded water prevented any peices of skin below the stomach to be seen, But Muraki already knew what the boy looked like. That day was still fresh in his mind, as if it had not happened fourteen years ago, but only two hours.

Hijiri looked alot like the boy. He _should_, after all, he was one of the doctors failed attempts. Hijiri knew wrong from right. Oh, Muraki just _couldn't_ have that. Besides, he didn't want Hijiri. he was nowhere _near_ perfect. But at least the black haired boy listened...

Muraki leaned over the blond in the liquid, staring at his face. The closed eyes gave a sense of grace, but yet finality around him. The doctor found himself staring at the young boy's chest. He had the urge to reach out and kiss the soft skin that lie over bone and meat. But he resisted, pulling up. "Now we wait. He will hopefully wake up when he can."

They waited for what seemed like _hours_ before the blond opened his eyes. He tried to focus, but couldn't quite do it. So many things to see, but too much restriction for his eyes to see it all at once.

"I see you're awake."

"Nn..." The boy moaned and stood, and Hijiri blinked as he watched almost a _perfect_ replica of himself. His body was even the same. he looked at Hijiri, then in the water, where he seen his reflection.

He reached down and touched the water, tilting his head in amazement. He watched as the ripples made his face distort, then go back to normal as it calmed.

Muraki thought this was just _beautiful_. Hijiri had done the same thing with the mirror the morning after he had woken up, wondering who had been staring at him, and why he could not touch the other man's face.

Now, the blond attempted to walk, only to fall to the side for Muraki and Hijiri to catch him. Muraki felt his body heat up at the contact, seeing the small legs flail as he landed in their arms.

The emerald eyes looked around the room, dull and emotionless, yet at the same type, an aura of wonder floated around him.

_Exactly_ what Muraki had wanted to see.

He helped the boy pull his legs out of the tub and set him on the ground, handing him clothes. "Wear these."

The blond tilted his head. "Wear...These..." He repeated, clueless.

Muraki sighed. This... would be harder than he thought.

He moved forward, putting the clothes on him. "There." He said, looking at him. "You look... Wow..."

"Wow?" Hisoka repeated, blinking. "That's... That's a compliment... Right?"

"Yes, yes it is-" Muraki stopped. Turning around, he stared at the boy who had previously been clueless. "What did you just say?"

"... That's a compliment ri-"

"I know what you said, I just can't believe you pretended to be clueless to..."

He blinked and watched the boy tilt his head in the confusion. '_He wasn't pretending... Maybe his mind just took a moment to adjust to the new surroundings... Or perhaps I'll have ot teach him everything in the world...'_

But he didn't have to. Over the weeks, this new boy was perfect. He was handsome, able to run and read... But there was a slight problem. Well... A problem for society, anyway.

He couldn't show emotion. He never laughed. Never cried. Never smiled. Muraki had tried to make him smile once, just to test it, and the boy just stared at him as if he were insane. But that was just fine with the doctor. The less emotion, the more of a chance he will get away with _anything_.

But, he had to enlist the blond to collage. When neighbors began whispering about the strangeness of the boy being around when they had never seen him around the house before, he told him to find a collage and they will all go there. Muraki, of course, being a teacher, and Hijiri taking care of the new twin.

"But..." The boy had said, looking over. "Hijiri... He has a name. What is mine?"

"Kai-" Muraki stopped. He was right... if he gave his true name, the cover would be blown, and it would be a bit strange to see a boy that looked EXACTLY like the one who was murdered and have the same name. Reguardless of it being fourteen years ago, there was always a chance that a teacher would figure it out. So he gave him a different name. "Kurosaki Hisoka." He said, staring the blond in the eyes.

Hisoka nodded, grabbing the bag from the corner of the room. With an emotionless face, he exited after Hijiri and got in the passanger seat of the car, where he always sat. Hijiri hopped in the back, holding his own belongings. He was exited, of course, to meet new people. He may have only been a clone made by a madman in search of the perfect creation, but he was still, somewhat, human.

Muraki got in the driver's seat, rubbing a hand over Hisoka's leg. The boy only stared foreward.

Hijiri found himself jealous. _He_ used to be the center of Muraki's world... But now...

He shook it from his mind. He had been told to stay silent. To obey the doctor's every command.

So he did.

_**Okay... As you can see, it's not only in Hisoka's view this time. Yeah, Hisoka didn't start out as Hisoka, he started out as 'Kaito'. And they aren't exactly clones.. close, but I don't know how to explain it.. :? You'll get it as the story progresses... XP**_

_**Review please...? :D I would be happy... -holds up sign with happy face drawn on it- :)**_


	2. zOMG! It talks!

_** Okay! Here I is! Chapta two! WOO! (I'm actually haveing fun with this story... :D)**_

Hijiri sat in the backseat, looking out the window and occasionally glancing to the front, where Hisoka looked out the window as well and seemed to enjoy the wind in his face. After all, he was hardly aloud outside. Not out in the open, anyway. Which explained his pale skin. But, other than sticking his head out of the window and opening his mouth to breath in deep, he showed no interest.

How could Muraki _love_ Hisoka? The boy was nothing more than a shell of a boy that was murdered. The outer appearance was the same, but the inside was as dull as a peice of dead grass!

But, even the black haired twin had to admit, Hisoka's stare was VERY terrifying. He found himself always breaking the boy's gaze, staring at the floor and feeling as if he had been just hit in the face by his father. Hisoka looked back slowly as Muraki touched Hisoka's arm, rubbing the soft skin there. Hisoka looked at Hijiri, who blinked.

The stare was not angry. It wasn't jealous. it never was. Just... empty. But _that's_ what made you uneasy. The fact that you couldn't see a thing in those eyes made him feared. Made him stronger that he probably believed. The first day of his new life was the only time he had shown any emotion at all. Ever since, he was silent. He hardly talked, and when he did, it was calm and collected, even when Muraki was angry. Hijiri normally shrank away from him, terrified beyond reason.

Hijiri broke the stare. Looking down, he stared at his own legs. '_I hope I won't have to take care of him that much..._' he thought, shuddering at the thought. That boy would be hard to control, especially if Hijiri was _afraid_ of him.

At the collage, Muraki got out of the care after kissing Hisoka's hand softly. Again, Hijiri felt a flash of Jealousy. He got out of the car, accidently hitting Hisoka's body as the door opened. The blond fell back from the force, but didn't seem to care. He only stood slowly, wiping off the seat of his jeans and walking away. But Hijiri wasn't as lucky. Muraki walked over to him. "Don't you _ever_ do that again."

"I...I'm sorry, Muraki, I-"

"I said NEVER, got it?"

"Yes..."

Muraki glared, and Hijiri shrinked back. "Yes, Muraki..."

"That's better."

He didn't understand what the big deal was. The blond wasn't even hurt. Didn't even phase him. If it did, he certainly didn't show it.

"Sorry, Hisoka..." Hijiri said, walking next to the boy.

"For?" He said, looking over.

"For hitting you with the door-"

"Whatever. No problem." He walked faster, moving away from Hijiri and getting close to Muraki.

The black haired boy huffed, blowing his bangs away from his eyes. He walked faster to keep up with the two ahead of him, holding his bag over his shoulder.

He seen girls gawking over him and Hisoka. Mostly Hisoka, but he knew the reason why. Hisoka even gave the waves to everyone around, 'I don't care'. While Hijiri gave off the vibe of Jealousy, since Hisoka had been stealing _his_ attention all day. Hell, all _month_!

As they walked through campus, the girls blushed and pointed, talking in whispered voices.

Soon, they had assigned rooms. Sadly, the two had to share a room with _two_ other boys. Twins, to be exact, as they walked in. The brown haired boy was sitting on the bed, listening to a CD and bobbing his head softly, moving his lips in a certain pattern, possibly the lyrics of the song, while he wrote on a peice of paper. The other boy was leaning against a bed, reading a book. He looked up just before he turned a page, and Hijiri seen peircing cobalt blue eyes. He put a book mark in his place, slamming the book into the other boy's arm. The other boy yelped, looking over. His eyes were dark purple.

"Ah. Our roomates. Yay." The purple eyed boy mumbled, pulling his headphones off and standing.

Tatsumi rolledhis eyes. "Ignore my brother. I'm Tatsumi. My idiot of a twin over there is Tsuzuki."

Hijiri smiled, finding himself mezmorized in Tatsumi's eyes. "Erm.. nice to meet you." He held out a hand, smiling. Tatsumi shook his hand, smiling back.

"Tsuzuki.. Come on."

"I'm coming, just let me put my CD away, jeez."

"He's two minutes younger than me." Tatsumi whispered, laughing softly.

"Yeah, and he NEVER lets me forget it." Tsuzuki hissed, glaring at the slightly taller man beside him.

"I'm Hijiri," Hijiri looked over at Hisoka, who was already leaning against the wall and looking towards the door. "And that.. is my Twin, Hisoka."

"Hisoka, huh?" Tsuzuki said, walking over. "Hello. I'm Tsuzuki, nice to meet you!" Hisoka looked over for only a moment, staring at Tsuzuki's face. His eyes roamed up and down the brunette's body, stopping once more at his face.

"Yeah. Hey." He looked away again.

"...Okay, that was rude."

"Ignore him." Hijiri whispered. "He's... A little... emotionless."

"A little? How much is 'a little'?"

"Alot."

The three laughed, and Hijiri looked over at Hisoka. '_Ha ha, Hisoka! Now _I'm_ getting the attention!_' he felt like a child, but he knew it was worth it. But he began to notice Tsuzuki stealing glances at Hisoka. '_Yeah, good luck. He doesn't even smile._'

--

A week later, Hisoka and Hijiri both were adjusted. Hisoka had not said a word to anybody, not even teachers who called on him in class.

"Is he a _mute_ or something?" Tsuzuki asked.

"No. He just doesn't talk much. At least we had a quiet family dinner."

He and Tatsumi laughed, but Tsuzuki could only muster up a soft chuckle. He found himself kind of attracted to Hisoka. His Emerald Green eyes... they seemed to be different than Hijiri's. The color was the same, but what was within was what worried him.

Nothing. He was almost like a robot in human skin.

Then, during dinner at a campus burger place, Hisoka spoke. "Tsuzuki, could you hand me the ketchup?" He said, staring at the amethyst-eyed man.

"Oh sure-"

Tatsumi, Hijiri, and Tsuzuki both stopped eating and stared at him.

Hisoka blinked. "What? All I asked was a simple question. Am I not _allowed_ to talk?"

"No.. No, you are, I just...-" Tsuzuki was trapped. This boy's voice was _gorgeous_. It only diferred a little form Hijiri's, but it was difference enough.

"Didn't expect it?" Hisoka asked, holding out his hand for the Ketchup bottle. "Bottle, please?"

"Oh, yeah!" Tsuzuki handed it to him, blinking as Hisoka put a little on the underside of the bun and handed it to Hijiri, who was still staring. The blond was staring at him, and the other two were watching.

Hisoka spoke first. "Eat, Hijiri." Hijiri immeadiatly bit down into his food, chewing and gulping it down silently.

Tatsumi watched. He couldn't help but enjoy the short peeks he had into Hijiri's mouth as he opened the first time to eat. He wondered just _what_ the raven haired boy had to offer.

After dinner, the four boys walked to the dorm. Hisoka was talking just a little more, but it was still careless, sharing short words and to-the point facts. But, Hijiri mused, it was better than _nothing_ at all.

On one of Muraki's visits to the dorm room, both Tsuzuki and Tatsumi were confused. The whole damn _family_ must be gorgeous!

"Hey Doc-I mean dad." Hijiri said, correcting himself. He blushed as Muraki glared at him. He ignored him only for a moment to look at Hisoka. His eyes softened.

"Good morning, Hisoka.. How have you been faring?"

"Well, sir." Tsuzuki said, smiling. "He's been fun to be around. He doesn't talk much, but..."

"I see." Muraki said, smiling and leaning down to Hisoka. "That's my little hermit."

"Has Hijiri been taking care of him?"

"Yeah." Tatsumi said, his eyes suddenly locking into Hijiri's own. He felt like melting on the spot, but intead looked away and at the man in front of them.

"Good. Thank you..."

"Oh, I'm Tatsumi. That's Tsuzuki."

"Ah. Nice to meet you, boys. Well, I'm off. Good bye, Hisoka." He took a glance and Hijiri, and in the most fatherly voice he could muster, he said, "Good bye, Hijiri. See you two later."

"See you, dad." Hijiri said, but Hisoka grunted.

"Your dad is..."

"Woah..." Tatsumi finished the sentence. "Was that _hate_ I seen in your eyes when he was talking to Hisoka?"

"No, of course not. Why would I hate my brother or my father?" He lied, of course. It was hate. But he couldn't help it!

But when he looked into Tatsumi's eyes, it all melted away.

Hisoka stared at Tsuzuki. But... for the first time...

Hijiri dropped a book on his foot. His eyes widened. There was... actually something in Hisoka's eyes. Just a flicker, but there. The blond looked away from Tsuzuki and at Hijiri at the sound of the book, jumping slightly.

The night ended with a bang. Litterally, thanks to the book...

Hijiri crawled into bed, shaking just a little in pain as his toe throbbed. '_ignore it, ignore it... ignore it..._'

_**XP I had to end it there. I don't feel so good. -chibifies and falls over- Bleh... well... I guess tell me what you thought of this chapter, and I'll see you in the next one! **_

_**And yes... Hijiri and Tatsumi are going to fall in love. MWAHAHA didn't see that comin did you? Of course not, it's only the second chapter... XP This might turn out to be another kinda short story, but I'll try to think of something to make it longer. :) And the end, with the 'ignore it, ignore it, ignore it,' may not be that funny to you, but it's a joke with me and my friends when I tossed a book in the dark and it hit my friend Nikki's toe... She was muttering, 'ignor eit, ignore it, ignore it, ignore it' for like, five minutes strait. XD**_

_**REVIEW PLEASE!**_


	3. Kaito's death in Hisoka's dreams

_**Okay... I feel a little better. :) Well.. Here it goes...**_

Hisoka looked up at the clock.

As if his prayers were answered, the teacher stated simply; "you may leave."

He grabbed his books, rushing out of the room. Tsuzuki's class would be ending any second now. He knew it.

"Hisoka!" Hijiri shouted behind him, and his twin began to run after him.

Hisoka stopped in front of a door, waiting beside it with his books.

He had never noticed his heart beat before. But now, as he waited to see Tsuzuki's dark purple eyes, he felt it race in his chest. What _was_ this? What was wrong with him? Was he breaking apart?He _had_ been kinda unstable.

Oh well. '_I'll just talk to Doctor Muraki about it,'_ he thought, just as Tsuzuki walked out into the hall to see the blond haired boy staring at him.

"Oh, Hisoka. Hey."

"Hello, Tsuzuki." He said. He held his hand over his chest in an attempt to slow the pounding. Tsuzuki smiled at him, but Hisoka did not smile back.

Hijiri blinked. _This_ was what Hisoka was racing down the hall for? Tsuzuki? His heart jumped as Tatsumi walked out of the classroom.

"Hey, Tatsumi."

"Hey yourself, Hijiri." The two smiled at each other. "Hey, me and Tsuzuki were going to go to a party. You guys wanna come?"

"Sure!" Hijiri said quickly, before Hisoka had a chance to repond. For once, he was literally at a loss for words. He wanted to talk, but couldn't think of what to say. Wanted to nod, but couldn't seem to make his body react.

So he only let Hijiri call this one. He sighed.

"That okay with you, Hisoka?" Tsuzuki asked, and he forced himself to nod.

--

At the party, Hisoka got his first taste of the night life. He learned how to dance, and he picked it up easily. His body melded with Tsuzuki perfectly, as if they were perfect for each other.

Tatsumi and Hijiri were having just as much fun. Maybe even more so. Even though people thought Tsuzuki was the bold one, it was Tatsumi who really threw in everything he had when it was something he wanted.

After the party, Hisoka, Hijiri, Tatsumi, and Tsuzuki went back to the dorm room, all except Hisoka laughing. But then.. As if some miracle had been performed, a small chuckle erupted from Hisoka's throat. The other three looked over in shock. The chuckle turned into a soft laugh, and his eyes began to shine.

Hijiri was the most shocked of the three. He just couldn't believe that Hisoka had.. Shown emotion. Anything, for that matter. Hisoka smiled brightly, seeming the most human as he could. Hijiri found himself smiling.

Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder. Hisoka did too, as both of them turned to see.

Muraki stood there, glaring. Hisoka burrowed himself back into the protective shell.

"I see you boys had fun. And failed to call to make sure I knew where you were. I've been looking for you two for hours!"

"Dad-" Hijiri said, wishing to tell him of Hisoka's breakthrough.

"I don't want to hear it. Come on, You two are coming with me for a while."

"Dad..." Hisoka said, looking up at the silver haired doctor. Muraki was shocked.

"What.. Did you just..."

"We don't want to go.. I'm having fun here. With Tsuzuki." The two boys looked at each other, and Tsuzuki smiled. Hisoka tried to smile back, but it came back weak.

"I don't care if you're having fun. Come on!" Muraki pulled on Hisoka's arm, a little rougher than he pulled on Hijiri's. Hisoka didn't even feel it. Tsuzuki watched with sadness.

Back at the room, the to boys stared at the wall. "It's too bad they had to leave,"

"Yeah, I know.I figured those two would be a pain, but they're pretty cool."

"And cute. Don't forget cute."

Tatsumi looked over. "Tsuzuki... You don't have a crush on Hisoka, do you...?"

"No! Ha, what made you think that?"

"You said they were cute..."

"So? Can't a guy say another guy is attractive without being gay?"

"...No. "

"Okay! Okay, I like him. He's nice, without being overly dependant. He's quiet, but not completely mute."

Tsuzuki stopped, smirking and looking over at Tatsumi. "But what about _you_? Why do you give Hijiri that look every time he walks by you?"

"What look?" Tatsumi asked, looking away as a blush appeared.

"You know, that look like you've completely fallen head over heels? Come on, I know you better than you think, Tatsumi, we're twins!"

The two laughed, both of them wishing that the other pair of twins were back.

--

"What were you _thinking_, Hijiri! Letting Hisoka go to a party! You're supposed to be taking care of him, not putting him in danger!"

"damger!? Dad, it was only a party, he wasn't in any danger! I was right there with him the whole time!"

"Doing what!? Dancing with a man you hardly know!?"

"Doctor, if you would just listen to me and hear me out! You won't believe what Hisoka did-"

"I don't want to hear any blame!"

"But-"

_Smack!_

Hisoka stared, trying to stay emotionless. But he felt something welling inside him. But what... What was it? It was different that before...

Hijiri stood, shock registering in his eyes. Muraki may have yelled at him, maybe slapped him, but it had never really hurt. Not like this. It was a sting now. A very heavy sting.

He felt himself fall to the floor, holding his cheek. Another hand hit his body, and he fell to the side, wincing and yelping.

"Shut up, you brat!" The older man yelled, and Hisoka backed up slowly in horror. Was... Was _this_ the man Hijiri'd been fighting for? He could feel Hijiri's hate for him, that pure jealousy rushing through him every time Hisoka was held by the doctor.

Hijiri was silent as Muraki hit him one last time next to the eye, soon getting up and looking at Hisoka.

"Ah... Hisoka.. I'm sorry you had to see that..." He took the blond in his arms, but the youth didn't fight. But his body didn't move. Not one bit. It was limp, only being held up by Muraki's arms.

Hijiri got up slowly, blood trickling from the corner of his mouth. Muraki let Hisoka go and walked out of the room, ignoring Hijiri.

"Muraki-Sama... MURAKI-SAMA!" Hijiri called, crying. All he wanted... was to obey the man who had created him... He hadn't done anything wrong by going to that party, had he? Sniffing, he wiped blood from his lips, walked slowly to a kitchen chair.

Hisoka walked over, stopping as he reached his twin. He set a hand on the black-haired boy's shoulder and looked down.

Hijiri looked up.

"Hijiri..." Hisoka whispered, looking away.

He felt a sudden pain in his head, which was completely new, but he recognized it instantly. Falling, he began to scream.

_He ran as fast as he could, running towards the car. Muraki was there, holding the knife and twirling it._

_He ran the other way. He could only hear the beating of his heart in his ears as he thought, 'No! Please, oh god, no!'_

_He was running to a girl's dorm. He began to pick up speed, his bare feet getting cold from the wet grass beneath him. _

_As he ran inside, he screamed for help. When no answer came, he began to attempt a run up the stairs. But he didn't make it. A man grabbed his shirt, pullig him back and stabbing his body. He winced, unable to speak. Unable to breathe. He moved a hand to his stomach slowly, looking down. When he brought his hand up again, it was completely bloody. He held out his arms to stop himself from being pulled away-_

"What did you do, Hijiri!?"

"Nothing! He just started screaming!"

Hisoka stopped, opening his eyes wide. "What...What...?" He shuddered, looking around.

"Hisoka... What did Hijiri do to you?"

Hisoka blinked and looked over at Hijiri, who had a new bruise on his arm. He held it, but Hisoka knew it was there.

"N..Nothing. He didnt' do anything to me..."

"Then what-"

"I don't know." Hisoka ground out. "I'm going back to Tsuzuki and Tatsumi's. That's where I _want_ to be. Hijiri, come on."

He grabbed Hijiri's arm and litterally ran out the door.

--

"Seriously," Hijiri said in a hushed voice, looking over at Hisoka, who was sound asleep.

Tsuzuki and Tatsumi watched, shocked beyond all words. "But then, Hisoka just started screaming. I don't know what happened..."

"Maybe he got a headache?"

"And started _screaming_ about it? Tsuzuki, that's stupid!"

"Just a thought!"

Hisoka opened his eyes slowly. "What...? What ar eyou guys talking about?"

"Nothing, Hisoka." Hijiri said, smiling and looking over at him. "Go back to sleep."

"Alright..." Hisoka turned on his other side, closing his eyes softly.

_"Muraki-"_

_"Shut up!"_

_"But-"_

_"Shut up, boy..."_

_He struggled against Muraki, who had just finished pulling off his clothes. His jeans were already off, and so was his shirt. Now, his naked body was exposed to the man. He struggled, trying weakly to call for help. But the wound in his back prevented a loud cry. _

_He was suddenly flipped onto his stomach, and, letting out a wimper, he felt Muraki's hand storking his backside. "So beautiful..." He whispered, smirking. _

_"No... Muraki, Please..."_

_"Quiet!" Muraki slapped his leg, laughing softly at the younger boy's pain. "Oh, Kaito... Soon, you will wonder why you resisted me to begin with..."_

_Kaito's eyes widened, then dulled as he felt something pushing into him. He didn't have to think to know what it was. He squirmed, but Muraki didn't seem to care. _

_Kaito couldn't look back. No, He couldn't force himself to look back.he could already feel and hear what was happening, he didn't want to have to see it, too._

_The doctor moaned quietly, speeding up his movements. By now, Kaito had given up. With his wound draining all of his energy and Muraki above him, there was no way he could escape. Even if he could, he wouldn't get far. Gasping, he felt warmth fill him, knocking him back into the real world just in time to hear Muraki moan and laugh. _

_"I'm shocked..." The doctor mumbled, grabbing Kaito's chin roughly. "That you would even live this long. I've got my fun out of you..." Kaito's eyes widened as the knife that had pushed into his back touched his throat._

_"Goodbye... Kaito-Kun..." _

_When Muraki left with Kaito in his arms, only a small, breathy moan escaped the collage-boy's lips._

_And then, as Muraki smirked and laughed softly, running through the grass newly clothed, he was gone._

Hisoka bolted out of the bed.

"Kaito..." Why did that name seem so... Familiar? Why did he look so much like Hijiri and himself? Why was he having these dreams?

Suddenly, it hit him. He gasped softly, holding his hands up in front of his own face, not knowing Hijiri was still awake.

"I... I _am_ Kaito...!"

_**By the way, with the Kaito and Muraki scene thing in italics, I'm sorry if it seemed crappy. XP I'm just... not that good at doing that kind of thing. XP**_

_**I'm sorry this is coming to an end so soon! Hopefully, the next chapters will be pretty long. No, this isn't the last chapter. **_

_**And remember...**_

_**PWEASE REVIEWWW! :D**_


	4. fin

_**:) Next chapta!**_

Hisoka leaned against the cool wall, breathing hard. He'd been seeing 'Kaito's' death for almost three days. He _had_ to talk to Muraki. And fast.

He walked across campus, biting his bottom lip.

"M..Muraki...?" He asked, poking his head through the door.

The doctor looked up and smiled softly at him. "Ahh, Hisoka. You doing okay today?"

"Yeah.. Well, no actually... I've been having these.. dreams. Of a guy named Kaito...? Is there something You've failed to explain to me?"

Muraki stopped what he had been doing, and he moved to Hisoka couldn't see what was in his hand. "What did Hijiri tell you?"

"Nothing, Doctor... I told you, I've been having dreams-"

"Impossible... You couldn't possibly have memories of a past life..." He mumbled to himself, walking past Hisoka and on to the other side of the room. Hisoka fought a gasp.

'_So.. He WAS hiding something... what.. what did he do?'_

"Hisoka... It's nothing, alright. I just created you from a boy who was already dying."

'_Liar!'_ Hisoka nodded, leaning against the table. "Oh? Then... Doctor... Why are the dreams of his _death_?"

"What about it?"

"You killed him."

"No." Muraki smiled. "Why would I do something like that?" He pulled Hisoka in his arms, and Hisoka looked down past the man's shoulder.

"Right... You're right, it is ridiculous..." His emotionless tone returned, the unfamiliar pounding in his heart, definately not like when he seen Tsuzuki, beginning to fade until it was finally unnoticable. A small kiss was planted on his bottom lip.

"Now.. I will let you get back to your room, I have work to do, and so do you."

"Right..." As Hisoka walked out of the house, he felt Muraki glaring at his back. He shut the door and ran back to his dorm room.

--

"Hijiri.. Can I speak to you?"

"Sure, what is it, Hisoka?"

"In the bathroom."

"What-" Hijiri shook his head and shrugged. "Oookay..."

As soon as the door was shut, Hisoka gripped Hijiri's shirt and pressed him against the wall. "Tell me _everything_."

"What...? What do you mean 'everything'?"

"Everything! Just... Start from the beginning!"

"..What? Oh... Dinner... I'm so sorry, I mean, I was REALLY hungry, you weren't paying attention... It was just a couple fries, no big deal-"

"No, Not that!" Hisoka growled. "About Muraki. About _us_! Who is Kaito? What _really happened_!?"

Hijiri blinked. "Ooooh... That... Um... Yeah, funny story, actually..."

"I don't find it very funny..."

"Neither do I, I was hoping it would make you let me go..."

Hisoka looked down at his fists, then let go. "Alright. Now..." He locked the door with his left hand and leaned against the wood. "Start explaining."

When Hijiri was finished, Hisoka was shocked. Murder... Rape...? Perfect human... But why...?

"I'm not entirely sure why he's so bent on having the perfect teenagers, but he thinks YOU are the perfect boy!"

"But I have something else on my mind. I have since The day you glared at me at the table."

"Oh boy..."

"Why did you hate me so much...?"

"I just... I don't know, I was Jealous... I couldn't stand to see Muraki touching _you_ and not me. I always thought of myself as his favorite doll, up until you came around... Then I became the backup in case you had gotten hurt, which never really happened, so it goes without saying that I was pretty much left behind..."

It finally made sense... All of it. He knew he wasn't like other people, but he couldn't understand why he couldn't smile, but Hijiri could. Why he couldn't cry, but Hijiri could. Why Hijiri could feel pain, but all Hisoka felt was a small tap. He finally understood... Something had gone wrong while Hijiri was being created. But Hisoka thought something went _right_. Hijiri was so full of life, of love and kindness... But Hisoka himself was like the king of the cold shoulder.

He unlocked the door and let his twin out, walking out after him. Tsuzuki and Tatsumi blinked at them.

"Erm... You guys okay?"

"Yeah. We're fine..."

--

Hisoka couldn't sleep. He covered up in his small bed, but he couldn't seem to fall asleep. Looking up at the ceiling, he took a deep breath.

"Hisoka?" Tsuzuki said sleepily, yawning and rubbing his eyes in the dark. "What are you doing up?"

"Oh... Nothing, Tsuzuki. Just can't sleep..." He turned on his side to face his friend, trying to smile. He couldn't quite do it. He looked away, sighig again and closing his eyes.

"Hisoka...?"

"Yeah, Tsuzuki?"

"You look amazing in the moonlight..." And the brunette closed his own eyes, falling asleep soon after.

'_Moonlight..._' Hisoka let himself drift away, the weightlessness of sleep settling in after about five minutes.

--

"Hisoka!" Tsuzuki shouted, running towards the blond boy as he hurried across campus to class.

"Yeah?" He turned, just in time to feel a hug. "What... Tsu-"

"I want to thank you for everything."

"But I didn't-"

"Yes you did. You made me happy. And... And I think I... I think I..." He bit his bottom lip, getting close to Hisoka's ear. "_I think I love you_"

Hisoka blinked. "Love... me?"

Love... He'd read about it... But... What did it _feel_ like? How strong was it? How do you know?

But then again, his heart raced when he was around Tsuzuki... His balance wasn't as good when he seen the brunette enter the room, and his concentration was broken with each breath that Tsuzuki gave next to him. Was _that_ love? Or was it nervousness? Anxiety? No... It _had_ to be love...

Hisoka nodded. "Well... Gotta go to class." He said quickly, turning away and walking towards the doors. Tsuzuki sighed, looking down at the ground as he ran his toungue over his teeth.

"Right... Class..."

--

The clock kept ticking. Hisoka and Hijiri both always looked up to find out what time it was, just to make sure they were ready to go before the lecture was over. Hisoka tapped his pen against the notebook, nibbling on his thumb, trying to feel pain.

Nothing.

Looking down at his hand, he looked at the pen. He poked at his wrist, waiting for pain to start. It didn't. Sighing and dropping the pain, he thought about Tsuzuki's words from before.

--

Tsuzuki sighed and walked down the stairs, staring at his watch. He stopped onthe sidewalk and looked up at the street, hoping to take a nice walk outside the campus grounds. He smiled and noticed all cars stopped, and he walked foreward.

he didn't see the speeding car coming his way.

--

Hisoka walked out of the classroom in time to see Tsuzuki crossing the road. He called Tsuzuki's name, running after him. He seen the car. Gasping, he pushed his legs to go faster.

Time seemed to go in slow motion. It was as if he had suddenly stopped time and the only thing moving was himself, but only a few inches. For the first time in his life, he felt what his brain registered as true fear.

"Tsuzuki!" He shouted, his own yell echoing in his ears. He made a jump, pushing Tsuzuki out of the way of the car.

A white Kia hit Hisoka in the side, and Tsuzuki landed on the side walk a few feet away, shocked. Looking back, he seen Hisoka laying several feet behind where the car had stopped. His body was lifeless.

"Hisoka!" Hijiri shouted from the campus, and his twin ran.

"Oh, god, Hisoka! What happened, TsuzukI!?"

"He..He pushed me out of the way of a car...! There... There's no way he could live from a hit like that, that car was going full speed... Tsuzuki started to cry, his tears landing on Hisoka's cheek. By now, drivers had gotten out, gasping and calling an ambulance. But, as Tsuzuki prepared himself for the fact that his best friend was gone, the young boy opened his eyes, as if nothing had ever happened.

"What...?"

Hijiri gasped. '_no! Now everybody is sure to know we aren't human! It's bad enough WE know about it...!'_

"Hi...Hisoka...! How...?"

"Tsu... I need to tell you something... I need to get out of here, first, though..."

--

After hours of explaining, Hisoka and Hijiri looked at Tatsumi and Tsuzuki, who held shocked expressions. "Okay, Okay... Let me get this strait... You expect us to believe that you two aren't really human and you are merely 'clones' of a murdered man?"

"Uhm..." Hijiri looked up, putting his finger on his chin. "Yeah, pretty much it..."

"Well then why is Muraki still free!? Didn't anybody know he had murdered a boy?"

"No." Hijiri sighed and looked at his twin, who only held a dark bruise on his side to show that an accident had even occurred.

"Look, we need to find a way to convict Muraki." Tatsumi whispered, moving closer.

Hisoka shook his head. Hijiri growled.

"Dammit, Hisoka, don't you understand the severity of this!? This man is INSANE! I knew that! I've ALWAYS known that! Get it through your head, we aren't really alive, we're empty shells of a man that was once alive and breathing! This man will THROW YOU AWAY just like he did to me when his next little creation comes into play!"

"N..No...-"

"Hisoka!" Tsuzuki whispered, but Hijiri's yell stopped him. A slap echoed in the room, and Hisoka didn't show any shock.

"You didn't feel that, did you!? DID YOU!?"

"N..No.."

"I didn't think so. What about this?" He hit him again. And again. And once more. "Do you get it yet, Hisoka? Neither one of us was supposed to exist! YOU especially!" He hadn't ment to say it. He regretted instantly. Hisoka stared on. Looking down, he shook softly.

"You're right..."

"N..No, Hisoka, I'm not right... Look, I just... I guess I've been jealous of you. You are the doctors favorite. Hell, EVERYBODY'S favorite..."

"Hijiri... Don't you even try... I understand now." Hisoka stood, walking towards the door. The aching in his heart returned. "Good bye, Hijiri." And he walked out, shutting the door softly.

Hijiri fell against the mattress, feeling tears in his eyes. "Dammit, why did I SAY that!?"

--

"Doctor...?"

"Ah. Hisoka. Just the boy I wanted to speak to. I hear you were in a bad accident." Muraki looked up, taking his glasses off carefully.

"Yes.. But i want to talk ot you about something else."

"Oh? Like what?"

"am... Am I a mistake?"

"No. Of course not, Hisoka... Whatever made you think that?"

"Hijiri... He... He said something today..."

"Of course..." The doctor sighed and walked towards a table, shifting through something and finally holding something in his hand. "Now... To talk about your accident... I'm afraid I can't let you walk from this one..."

Hisoka blinked. "Wh..What?"

"Someone will peice it together. The likeness of young Kaito, the lack of emotion...and the fact that I was there through it all. We just _can't_ have that..."

"What do you mean...?" Hisoka began to back up as Muraki smiled and pulled out a needle. "It's time for me to end this."

'_He was right...! Hijiri.. He... He warned me...I didn't believe the doctor would just dispose of me...!'_ he hit the wall, gasping for air. He felt fear rushing through him, a new sense of danger that he had not experianced before. "P...Please, doctor...!" Hisoka whispered, feeling Muraki rub against his body. He felt the needle peircing his neck, and he felt pain. '_Is..Is this what I've been missing...?Is... Is this pain?_' His vision began to blur, and he fell to his knees between Muraki's legs. The doctor smirked and backed up, letting Hisoka fall flat onto the floor, gagging and coughing. His breath was getting caught in his throat, and he looked up at the man he once adored. "D...Doctor..." He tried to stand. His legs felt like Jelly, and he only fell again.

As he fell, he pushed his body to look upwards at the ceiling. The colors were swimming around him. He felt blood rising in his throat. Tsuzuki flashed through his mind.

'_**I love you, Hisoka...**_'

Hisoka winced. "NO!" He shouted, grabbing at Muraki's leg. '_It isn't going to end here... No, it can't end here.I may not be a real human, but now I've had a taste of what it's like. I'm not letting it escape...!'_ He felt his hand finally connect with Muraki's pants, and he pulled weakly.

the doctor only laughed. "You think you can trip me!? You are mistaken, child! I guess you aren't as perfect as I thought you were.

Hisoka was not finished. He dragged himself across the floor using his creator's leg to pull. By the time Muraki realized what Hisoka was doing, the boy was standing up in front of him, blood trickling from the corner of his mouth. He fell foreward, but kept his balance by grabbing the table nearby. Muraki stared at him, his expression still calm. Hisoka felt on the table. When his hand touched something metal, he growled and brought it foreward into Muraki's hip. The man yelled in pain, falling backwards. In Hisoka's hand was a scalpel. Looking down at his arm, he touched the object to his arm and dragged it down slowly. Wincing, he felt the sharp pain and stopped.

"I don't have to be perfect, _Doctor_..." He wobbled closer. "To defeat you..." He held the scalpel tightly in his hands, as if at any moment , Muraki would jump up and try to shoot him with that god forsaken needle again. He pushed himself foreward, letting himself hit against the wall to keep himself upright. Muraki turned on his stomach, growling and reaching out. Hisoka opened the door, pulling himself through and coughing.

"Someone!" He cried, wobbling and feeling himself falling to the ground, even when he wasn't. His feet were becoming heavy. "Somebody, please help me!" He seen the girl's dorm in the distance, and he tried to hurry to get there.

When he finally reached the door, he had blood rising out of his mouth. He opened his lips and coughed, watching the red liquid splash on the tile. "Help me!" He yelled, his cry slightly gurgled, but unmistakably a call for help. A girl came down, gasping.

"Oh my god!" She cried. Her friends followed soon after, and Hisoka fell to his knees.

'_This is it... I led a short life... But I suppose history is bound to repeat itself... it's fate... I'm not human... i never was... What's the point...?'_ He fell foreward, letting his eyes close. He hit the ground and no longer moved, blood still leaking from his mouth. '_I'm sorry, Hijiri... I'm really sorry...'_ He listened to the fading sounds of a phone dialing and frantic girls calling for help. '_Tsuzuki... I love you, too... I'm sorry it took so long for me to realize it... Please forgive me...'_ And he faded away, the pain and weightlessness in his body fading into the dark.

--

"I'm sorry, Sir.."

Hijiri, clearly in pain, let out a loud wail and slammed his head into Tatsumi's chest. He shut the door, nodding and saying a soft, 'thank you'.

"He...He didn't even live a full year...!" He whispered, sniffing and hugging himself. Tsuzuki stared at the wall, his own tears falling silently. 'I...I should never have said that...! Never! WHY!?"

"Hijiri..Shh... It's not your fault at all... Muraki did it. _He_ killed him, not you."

"But-"

"No. Shh... It's not anybody's fault but Muraki's. But he's gone as well, blood loss. At least Hisoka fought back... He understood."

Tsuzuki suddenly hiccupped, sitting up and curling into a ball, holding his knees against his chest. '_I should have went out like I wanted to... I shouldn't have blown it off...' _

_--_

_"_Poor boys"

"See they black haired one? That's Hisoka's brother! You know people are saying he was having a romantic relationship with his own father!?"

"Ew! No wonder Hisoka wanted to die!"

Hijiri sat at the table, eating his food in silence. He was completely alone. Tatsumi and Tsuzuki were still at the dorm, asleep. He knew the rumors, but chose to ignore them. Hisoka... Hisoka was technically _himself_... When Hisoka died it was as if he had lost part of his own soul. It wasn't as if it was because of the fact that they were 'brothers'. Hisoka started out his life as Hijiri's enemy, but went out as his best friend. "So much for perfect..." He whispered softly, before two tears fell down his cheek to his food. He pushed the tray away, No longer interested in eating.

"Hijiri...?"

"Tat...Tatsumi..."

The brunette smiled and walked closer, sitting at the table. "You okay?"

"N...No. I don't think I am. I never will be. I never was okay."

Tatsumi bit his bottom lip. "Then maybe this will help."

He stood from the table, walking to Hijiri's side and kissing his lips softly. The boy gasped softly as the lips touched, and he felt his heart accelerate.

"Better?" Tatsumi whispered softly, smiling and touching Hijiri's neck.

"A...A little..." He smiled back, standing up. "Come on, Let's go."

As the months passed, Hijiri grew. Not only for himself, but for Hisoka. But something inside him told him that something great was about to occur...

--

"Did you hear!? Hisoka's body is GONE!"

"Gone!? But how?"

"Dunno, but there was this huge hole in the grave and a little bit of blood, but Hisoka wasn't even found!"

"Oo... Creepy..."

"Yeah, I know!"

Hijiri walked to his dorm room. Tsuzuki and Tatsumi should already be there... Knocking on the door and opening it, he seen Hisoka himself hugging Tsuzuki.

Hijiri dropped everything, staring in shock.

"Can you believe it, Hijiri!? The doctors were wrong! He wasn't dead at all!"

"But...How...?"

Hisoka smiled and pulled a small vial from his back pocket. Hijiri stared at it, blinking.

"Turns out, Doctor Muraki only gave me a drug. It was enough to knock me out for quite awhile, long enough for him to kill me and make it look like an accident, But not enough to kill me. I know, it seems odd, but i was able to claw my way out of that hole. Needless to say, I had to take several showers and fix up my hands a bit..."

Hisoka held up his hands, bandages over them. There were light splotches of blood here and there, but all in all, it wasn't really as bad as Hijiri had expected. Right now, he was glad Hisoka was even able to get out.

Tsuzuki hugged Hisoka tightly, tears running down his face. "I'm so glad you're alive..." He whispered in Hisoka's ear.

The boy only sighed, clenching his fists. "You know Muraki thought I could never love..."

Tsuzuki loosened his grip. He backed up, but what was on Hisoka's face surprised him even more than his words.

A smile.

"He was wrong."

_**okay... That... took.. FOREVER. D: I'm sorry it took so long, and I know the last chapter may not be all that great, but I'm honestly sick of seeing this damn story unfinished. And if I make any mistakes, I'm terribly sorry. The only smile that I meant to be in there was the ending. -.- So please... If you think I should delete it, okay. If you want, I will delete the last chapter and YOU can finish it, but I'm not messing with it anymore. O.o I thought that fricken thing would be easy, but I'll tell you what; it's not. -sigh- Phew! Glad it's over, now I will do one that I think I will have.. ALOT... more fun with... :D**_

_**REVIEW PLEASE!**_


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